Cinema Etiquette 2# - Food

Mmmmm.

Yum-yum-yum.

Deeeeeelishussss.

Slurp.

Crunch.

Munch.

Etc. Etc. Etc.

Eating in the cinema is a tricky issue.

As you would expect I have very firm views on this and very strict rules.

In the multiplexes while watching some summer blockbuster it is fine to have a massive bucket of popcorn and a cup of fizzy pop that you could bathe a small child in.

You can stuff your face with ice-cream, nachos, sweets and pic 'n' mix to your hearts content or to your heart attack.

If you are in the multiplex to see something quieter or more left-field then you can eat any of those things before the lights go down and while the advertisements are playing but as soon as the film starts you have to stop.

If you are in an arthouse cinema like the Filmhouse then you shouldn't be eating anything that crunches, smells or rustles...anything you drink should be opened before the film starts to avoid the click and hiss of pop cans opening.

The reasons are obvious surely.

Even to the sort of person who thinks it's acceptable to use a mobile telephone in the cinema (see Cinema Etiquette 1#).

A film like "Iron Man 2" is loud...it's aimed at teenagers, young adults and family audiences. It's a film made to titilate...it's full of explosions, big bangs and bright lights. It's a thrill ride. It's silly, fun and brash. Someone chomping their way through a mega-vat of popcorn isn't going to detract from the experience...it's a part of the experience.

Heading into the dark of an arthouse screen to see something more delicate, romantic, intimate, challenging or dark requires you, as the viewer, to be attentive and respectful of what is being shown on the screen. What I don't want at that point is to endure some mug munching through a packet of salt and vinegar crisps and half-way through cracking open a can of Diet Coke isn't appropriate.

I had to endure exactly that situation when I went to see "Glorious 39" earlier this year. It was awful. This dialogue driven period drama given a soundtrack of some fat beast punishing their already bloated frame with a jumbo packet of crisps...the noise and the stink really didn't help me lose myself in the film. If you can't make it through an hour and a half without jamming junk food into your face then you need to buy Paul McKenna's "I Can Make You Thin" quickly.

So...blockbuster films, stuff your face and make merry. Arthouse movie...it's diet time.

Simple.